Pong Kombat Story FAQ



See Plain Text Version

Attention White Paddle of the Pong Lao cult invites paddles of all... well, colors, to compete in a tournament of Pong Kombat. The contest will be held on a number of cheaply drawn VGA screens on some schmuck's computer. Grand Prize 1.34 and a plastic cup.

Blue Paddle:

Intro:

Master of the ancient art of altering time and space to suit his whimsy, this paddle gets by on energy blasts, vortexes, and other neat looking special effects. He's allergic to shellfish and likes telling bad puns.

After winning the tournament and defeating the somewhat nasty White Paddle, Blue Paddle decides to market the tournament in computer-game format. However, he loses his shirt, (if paddles wore shirts), when he makes the unwise decision to make the game 486-specific requiring 4 megs of RAM and 25 megs disk space. Now he works as a doorstop for Bill Gates.



Green Paddle:

Intro:

Master of the bow and arrow despite a lack of arms, Green Paddle is a formidable archer. She (yeah, paddles -do- have genders) is hoping to use the prize cup to store pencils in, and use the money to buy a soda.

Green Paddle uses her trophy cup just as she wished to -- to store pencils in. She retires from the PK circuit and becomes an award-winning fantasy novelist, with a series about a female archer who retires from fighting and becomes an award-winning fantasy novelist and writes about a female archer who retires from fighting and becomes an award-winning... etc.



Purple Paddle:

Intro:

Originally a plate spinner, Purple Paddle now spins razor sharp discs of fury. (Well, maybe not fury, but they are quite perturbed...) He desires the prize so he can brag to everybody who said he'd be a nobody.

Purple Paddle, having defeated the others in a tournament of mortal pong, decides to use his new title to take over the world. He enslaves humanity and crushes every living thing in his path. Have a nice day.



Red Paddle:

Intro:

Paddle of shadows and eye-wrenching teleportation tricks, Red Paddle zips here and there kicking paddle butt for the movie cameras. None of his movies have done well, and he's hoping to promote 'em with the title.

Red Paddle's victory is told in a zillion newspapers and news specials, giving him the movie promotion he desires. He films Pong Kombat and its many sequels, until a horrible stage accident renders him deformed. Now he acts as a part time super-villain in Gotham City.



Yellow Paddle:

Intro:

The twisty-wisty Yellow Paddle is an expert in all things sinusoidal, and just loves to flaunt his skills in geometry and paddle-stomping. He desires the prize because he has nothing better to do with his degree.

The Yellow Paddle, now triumphant over all other paddle-like objects, hocks his trophy for ten dollars and buys a flask of whisky. He begins a drunken tailspin into obsurity, and never resurfaces.

E-Mail ]{0MBAT
Back to the Pong Kombat Page
Return to The Kombat Pavilion