Dearly beloved, We are gathered here today to mourn the death of Johnny Cage. Killed at the hands of Kintaro during the second Mortal Kombat. He was only 29 years old when he fought. MK3. It’s not over. Not even close. |
This sound was _supposedly_ some promotional for MK3 from Ed Boon. Up to you if you want to believe it. |
Johnny Cage: “Those were $500 sunglasses, asshole!” |
Shao Kahn: “Surrender, Raiden, or this one dies!” Raiden: “Then I will take your generals! Because Earth does not bend to the will of tyrants.” Shao Kahn: “You, who would never let one of your precious humans die.” Raiden: “Trade me for Johnny Cage.” Shao Kahn: “Come bow. At my feet!” |
Shao Kahn: “Fool!” Sonya: “Johnny!” |
Jimmy Cage: “Those were $650 sunglasses!” |
Johnny Cage: “Yeah! Woo! C’mon!” |
Johnny Cage: “Aw, forget it!” |
Jax: “He pierced his face, sharpened his teeth into fangs, and he even surgically attached a part of 10-inch blades into his forearms. Codename: Baraka.” |
Jax: “Cage. Yeah, that’s right, the old action hero. After his movie career died, he needed work. We had him working for us undercover.” |
Shao Kahn: “Ages wasted in foolish resistance. Now is the dawn of my rule.” Raiden: [Mystical language] Shao Kahn: [laughter] “Yes. Pray to the worms.” |
Stryker: “Johnny Cage fighting a giant monster? What is this, Time Smashers?” Raiden: [gibberish as he destroys Motaro] Kabal: “That guy just shot lightning from his hands. How’d he do that?” Stryker: “No idea.” |
Lance: “I’m not lovin’ it.” Emile: “Me neither. Sorry, Johnny.” Johnny Cage: “What are you guys talking about? This is exactly what you asked for.” Lance: “Well, to be frank, I was bored off my ass 10 seconds into the thing. I was literally getting more and more pissed the longer it went on.” |
Johnny Cage: “Growing up, I was shy, I was weak, I actually got my ass kicked a lot. But martial arts changed all that. And I was reborn. And that gave the world Johnny Cage.” |
Mileena: [growls and throws a sai at Johnny’s face] Johnny Cage: “Fuck that!” [runs away screaming] |
Mileena: “Finish him.” |
Mileena: “Finish him!” |
Kitana: [shaking her head] “This isn’t my fight any more. I’m done. No more killing in Shao Kahn’s name.” Mileena: “He is our father and we do as he commands!” Kitana: “He is not my father. And you are not my sister.” Kitana turns on her “sister,” saving Johnny Cage’s life in the process. Mileena: [screams, as Johnny stabbed her foot with one of her sais] Johnny: “That’s for my sunglasses, bitch!” Kitana: [decapitates Mileena with her fan] |
Shinnok: “She will be the first to join me.” Johnny: “No!” [glows green and jumps in front of Shinnok’s blast] “I’m not sure what just happened to me. But I am sure of this. You don’t even think of hurting her!” |
Jax: [stabs Johnny] “You won’t be dead for long.” Sonya: [grabs Jax, slamming him down to the ground] “I’m sorry, Jax.” Sonya: [to Johnny] “I’ll get you out of here. You’ll be fine!” Johnny: “Dunno... blood’s supposed to be on the inside...” Raiden materializes. Sonya: “Raiden!” Raiden: “I must reverse his spell.” [chanting] Sonya: “It’s working!” Quan Chi: “You cannot save him. You’re weak, Thunder God. Johnny Cage is mine.” Sonya: “No. He’s mine. [to Raiden] Save him! I’ve got this son of a bitch. [after defeating Quan Chi in Kombat] That wasn’t even close to what you deserve.” Raiden: “Sonya Blade! The link with Quan Chi is not completely severed.” Sonya: “Not a problem.” [Quan Chi is defeated, allowing Raiden to reverse the spell that created revenant Cage, along with Quan Chi’s hold over other Kombatants] |
Raiden: “The others are restored to the living. By coupling Quan Chi’s dark magics to my own, I was able to restore their souls.” Sonya: “Is he going to make it?” Johnny: “Haven’t I told you? He’s a god!” Sonya: “You scared the shit out of me!” Johnny: “And they said I couldn’t do horror films.” |
Johnny Cage: “Hey, Pumpkin...” Cassie Cage: “I’m a little old for ‘Pumpkin’!” Johnny Cage: “No... get Shinnok...” Cassie Cage: “But...!” Johnny Cage: “I love you.” Cassie Cage: “Dad?” Shinnok: “So you are the issue of Johnny Cage. Fitting that I exterminate his entire line.” Cassie Cage: “You want him, you’re gonna go through me.” Shinnok: [after smacking Cassie down to the ground] “Yes, that’s better. Watch, Miss Cage, as I rend your father’s flesh.” [attacking Johnny with a projectile] “This is what awaits those who defy me. Excruciating exquisite death.” [resumes the attack] Cassie Cage: “You son of a bitch!” [glows green and intercepts the attack] “Holy shit, it does run in the family!” Shinnok: “Your father’s power will not save you. You cannot hope to survive.” [Cassie Cage defeats Shinnok!] Johnny Cage: “That you? Nice!” But despite all that, Johnny turned out okay in the end. Johnny Cage: “And to think I was worried when you started dating.” Cassie Cage: “Afraid I’d come home with someone like you?” Johnny Cage: “Funny. Beautiful. Saves the world! My work here is done.” [Sonya and other U.S. Special Forces agents enter the room] Sonya Blade: “This way. In here. Isolate Shinnok and D’Vorah. And get the medic.” [runs toward Johnny] “We’ll fix you up. Help is on the way.” Johnny Cage: “You should’ve seen Cass. Wiped the floor with Shinnok!” Sonya Blade: “I believe it. And you... You did a great job with your team, Johnny.” Johnny Cage: “You hear that, Cass? She called me Johnny!” Cassie Cage: “I thought she might.” |